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Daily Chizuk #1119
Marriage / Shidduchim
Maintaining Energy: Misunderstanding the Dealings of G-d
Hashem In Shalom Bayit
We mentioned the Chazal that marriages are min haShamayim and it is incumbent upon us to try our very best to make them work. During the process of trying to improve, how should one react when things don’t go the way he likes? If one spouse says something hurtful to the other, the first Ani Ma’amin tells us to believe that it didn’t come from him. Hashem wanted us to be the recipient of that comment, and this spouse was just His shaliach in getting it done. It is impossible for another person to hurt us if it was not decreed by Hashem. If a man comes home and dinner is not ready, his first thought should be, ‘Hashem didn’t want me to come home to a house ready for dinner’. His wife was not in charge of that, Hashem was. If a man tells his wife he will be home by a certain time but ends up coming home much later than he said, the wife has to know, she did not wait one extra second that Hashem did not want her to wait. If she wasn’t meant to wait that time, her husband would have been there on time. It is obvious that each spouse has to do their best to act responsibly and not be negligent and say “That was Hashem,” but if it does turn out that one spouse feels a certain amount of pain or worry, it is only because it was first decreed in Shamayim that that painful or worrisome situation had to be.
If we don’t realize that Hashem is involved in everything that happens in our lives, including what goes on in our homes, then we are missing the most important detail of all. The more we remember Hashem in our shalom bayit, the better our shalom bayit will be.
We mentioned the Chazal that marriages are min haShamayim and it is incumbent upon us to try our very best to make them work. During the process of trying to improve, how should one react when things don’t go the way he likes? If one spouse says something hurtful to the other, the first Ani Ma’amin tells us to believe that it didn’t come from him. Hashem wanted us to be the recipient of that comment, and this spouse was just His shaliach in getting it done. It is impossible for another person to hurt us if it was not decreed by Hashem. If a man comes home and dinner is not ready, his first thought should be, ‘Hashem didn’t want me to come home to a house ready for dinner’. His wife was not in charge of that, Hashem was. If a man tells his wife he will be home by a certain time but ends up coming home much later than he said, the wife has to know, she did not wait one extra second that Hashem did not want her to wait. If she wasn’t meant to wait that time, her husband would have been there on time. It is obvious that each spouse has to do their best to act responsibly and not be negligent and say “That was Hashem,” but if it does turn out that one spouse feels a certain amount of pain or worry, it is only because it was first decreed in Shamayim that that painful or worrisome situation had to be.
If we don’t realize that Hashem is involved in everything that happens in our lives, including what goes on in our homes, then we are missing the most important detail of all. The more we remember Hashem in our shalom bayit, the better our shalom bayit will be.
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