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Daily Chizuk #1352

Parnasa / Money

Eliminating Hatred: The Key to Rebuilding the Sanctuary

The Benefit of Yisurin
Every little inconvenience that a person experiences, even something as small as putting on his shirt the wrong way, is considered yisurin and does wonders for a person's future life. The Shomer Emunim writes in perek 9 in his maamar on Hashgacha Pratit that any pain endured because of another person is worth infinitely more and this includes one's own immediate family. If someone has a child that causes him anguish, that is considered tremendous yisurin, but it doesn't have to be so extreme. Even if a child acts disrespectfully on occasion or the child doesn't listen to something his parent tells him to do, that's considered yisurin brought about by another individual.
A parent who is having difficulty in raising his children should take comfort in the knowledge that every little bit of stress or pain that his child is causing him is considered very big yisurin. If a parent has a problem child or a child that needs special care that occupies hours upon hours a day of the parent's time, that is considered an extremely great amount of yisurin. Of course, the parent should be praying to Hashem for help and doing whatever is necessary to take care of the child properly, but so long as the issues continue, the parent should accept his situation with love.
In order for any yisurin to do its complete job, it must be accepted with love, rather than with complaint. The person doesn't have to be happy with a problem child, but he has to believe that it was sent by Hashem and his job is to do the best he can with patience and love.
It is true that people are fully held accountable for their actions and they must be extremely careful not to hurt others, especially their own family members. But as the Chovot HaLevavot teaches us, nobody can be affected by another individual unless Hashem wills it for them. And if they do get affected, the best immediate response is always to accept what happened with love from Hashem and then try to solve the issues going forward.
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